Wednesday 20 September 2017

I am back

Hi guys sorry I haven't been up to date with the blog as I've had a few things going on but that's all sorted,so I am back to carry on telling my story about recovering and dealing with anorexia and depression.

The start of 2012 was much better than 2011, I was happier and was doing well. I started speaking to a boy near the end of 2011, and was still speaking to him coming into 2012. We had been speaking for a while, I never met up with him but we would video chat. He was the first boy I had properly spoken to.

A few months passed I didn't know where I stood with this boy as I found out he was speaking to other girls, I was really upset and felt so stupid. Even though I confronted him he would still talk to me but then he started going out with a girl which hurt me. From there I started going down hill, I became really depressed and would start cutting my arm again.(I will be going into more detail about my depression and how I coped further into my blog) I just had enough of everything, most of my friends were in relationships and I was getting messed around. Sometimes I would look at myself in the mirror and think how ugly I was and how fat I looked. I didn't tell anyone how I was feeling, I pretended like everything was fine. I moved on from that boy and just had fun with my friends.

Summer 2012
Me and my family travelled to Italy, we stayed over in London first then caught the euro-star to France. We stayed in France for three nights, then moved onto Switzerland. I was quite car sick for most of the journey but managed to sleep some of it. After spending three nights in Switzerland we travelled up to Italy, we were all excited to get there and to be in the sun.
After hours of travelling we finally arrived at euro-camp in Italy. I was so happy to be away and in the sun, I managed to forget most things and relaxed. I remember me and my three siblings learnt how to make pasta from fresh, which was quite hard to do but we all enjoyed it. Travelling to Italy was one of my best holidays and I will always remember the memories.

I did have a few ups and downs through out the holiday but I managed to get through it and enjoy time with my family. At one point  was anxious about wearing a bikini, but we weren't allowed to wear tops in the pool. I pushed myself to wear my bikini, it was hard but I did it. It was hard walking around in a bikini at start, I would hold my belly as I felt so conscious and would think everyone was looking.

Everything was so different that summer compared to the last one, I managed to eat what I liked and enjoyed it. I felt like I was finally in control not the anorexia and voices. My life was finally getting back on track. The two weeks flew by in Italy, we had a long travel home with stops in Switzerland and France for a night or two. Arriving home was nice, as I missed being in contact with my friends and had a few days left of summer to enjoy with my friends.

My next post will be tomorrow evening I promise
Gem x

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